A quick back story on this poem:
I wrote this poem about 10 years ago. It is pertaining to my Ex-Fiance at the time and our relationship/my doubts. I haven’t changed or re-written anything from this poem since then. Please let me know what you think, especially compared to my poetry now. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.
Is this love for you real?
Are we going with what we really feel?
Or trying to hold on to something, anything we can.
Do we really feel it?
Or do we only need it.
Do we need the idea of love and someone loving us to make things easier?
Is it easier to say that you have someone waiting for you?
Me and you. You and me. Us.
Just an idea that we pushed around in our heads.
Did we make believe it was real?
To show others what we “have” and what they want.
But do they want falsehood?
Are we being true to ourselves, each other and the feelings within?
Did we just make up what we both longed for just to have it so readily?
Do you try to convince yourself this is real?
Am I doing that every day?
By talking about you, how I feel and what you mean to me.
Do I say these things over and over again to convince myself that they’re true.
Is it if you say it enough you’ll eventually believe it? Is that what love is?
Is that what this is?
A rebound for you.
A need for me.
A want from you.
I lust of feelings for me.
Do I even know what I’m meaning?
These words I write so swiftly.
Pouring from my mind onto this page not knowing what I’m looking for maybe it’s what’s within me.
Maybe it’s doubt casting its ugly head.
Maybe it’s wanting it to fail due to being afraid of the commitment.
Do I really make you happy?
Or do you just tell yourself that so it’s easier to make it through the day.
So, you can forget about her and the other guy she’s with.
Do you think of her in the ways you say you think of me?
Could you really?
Do I measure up to her and what she was too you or am I just the settle you told yourself you’d never do?
Am I everything to you?
Are you everything to me?
Do “we” really exist in all this?
Is this our hearts and our brains being young, dumb, looking for that feeling so hard that we just happened to find it in each other?
Hoping, longing that it’s real so we manifested it in each other.
Does your heart cry for me?
Long for me?
Or are you just playing the game?
Somewhere inside you are hoping it will become real.
I will become her.
You will become him.
We will become them, we, us.
Does the drive for the idea of love make love so?
Does your brain and your heart make it so if you force it too?
Does our subconscious hold the truth, the real truth?
If so will we ever reach it or will we lock it away deep inside and hope it never rears its ugly face?
Did we talk and talk and talk to hope we’d find something in one another to spark anything inside us?
The fire we always heard about and wanted so badly.
The fire and passion one could only see in the movies.
Are we searching for that happy ending in each other because we know it really doesn’t exist?
Have we fooled everyone?
Have we fooled ourselves?
Is it okay to be your own worst enemy?
To destroy yourself and everything you built up that you thought was true, wanted to be true, longed for it to be true.
Can you really beat yourself at your own game?
It is the game of the heart that will cause your downfall in the end.
Are you ready for it?
Can you hold on?
Can you make everything you say real?
Can you feel it with all your being?
Or will you just fall endless?
The game of the heart and soul will destroy you in the end.
There could be happy endings but maybe if you only pretend.
To pretend you become the act, the show everyone tunes in for.
How long can you keep up this charade?
If you’re only longing for more.
Is it me that can give it to you?
Can you give it to me?
Are you my everything or my nothing?
Are you like these words that spew out of my thoughts are you just what I made you to be?
The perfect man.
The perfect girl.
Should I set you free?
Or hold on to this reality?
Pull your strings as you pull mine.
Who’s in charge, who will cross the line?
Hold you tight?
Live a lie?
Die alone?
Trust myself?
Trust your words?
Believe my feelings?
Cast them aside?
Feel your feelings or only try?
Believe in myself like I believe in you.
I am I just a lie?
bloggerinablogworld.com 
Damn! That was incredible! Intense. Absolutely relatable… Very nice! I look forward to reading more!
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and comment. I use to explain this poem as pure emotions on a page. Btw thank you for the compliments as well. 😀
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This is so deep, what you have expressed! Sometimes I feel that in certain relationships, we entangle ourselves just because we fear solitude..
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Thank you so much! I was young and thought I was in love during this period of my life. I was engaged to my Ex and thought we had forever together. Things changed between us but I blindly stayed with him. This poem I wrote one morning at around 3 am because I couldn’t sleep was a dead giveaway that things weren’t right. At the time I chose to ignore them. Thank god I didn’t marry him.
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I can totally relate dear..all of us at one point or the other go through such phases and experiences. I learnt that if someone want us in their lives then they take a special effort which our hearts will always perceive.🙂🙂
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Put so very well. I also believe things happen for a reason. To have as learn and grow as people. Life is full of lessons if we allow ourselves to embrace them that’s even better.
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Absolutely! Way of life🙂
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Painfully tangled Emotions…
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Beautifully put and definitely what I was feeling at the time.
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That’s a lot of emotion in there…nice one
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Thank you. I was at the ending point of a relationship that turned into an engagement. I still wanted to think we had forever but we didn’t. This poem was me speaking to what I blinded myself too.
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Wow Holly!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many questions, but especially so heartfelt, thoughtful, deep, emotional and moving in so few lines!! That was a Fantastic read! Loved your final graphic, it made me really laugh – I love it when someone can make me laugh – Congrats! Ha!
How old were you when you wrote that? So insightful for someone as young as you must have been. So glad you listened to your heart and soul whispering to you in your dreams with warnings and questions!!! Not all of us have been as wise as you, My Dear!! So glad this as about you Ex-fiance!
You have left me so very many wonderful seeds of inspiration in your questions that I think I will be mining this for a very long time. LOL! I put gems in my “Word Bank”. I’m loving your writing!!
I have just started following you so am not yet familiar with your Now! I hope that life has brought you true love and a soulmate – they do exist but are hard to find!
Come visit me! My words always love to meet a new friend, as do I!
Bellissiimo, Holly Bellisimo!! Gold Stars and Hearts are on their way!
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Thank you so much! I appreciate all your kind words towards my writings. I’m glad I made you laugh, I definitely loved that final picture.
I was about 20 years old when I wrote this piece. 3am on a sleepless night and the words just flowed from my fingers. My mind was screaming to my heart what was happening. Were our relationship was and how it was at the ending point.
I am so happy to know my poetry can inspire! I’m glad you are enjoying my writings as well and thank you so much for the follow!
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I am loving your writing and style! Yeah, sometimes it’s the head screaming at the heart and sometimes its the heart and soul ganging up on the head (read me “Riddles Your Heart Whisphers”)!
I’m guessing you were glad that guy ended up an Ex-Fiance? At 3 a..m., I love writing in the early morning. I’ve gotten some really great stuff in the wee small hours of the morning. See my “In Love With A Muse”
I’m looking forward to your new work. Will need time to catch up on your back catalog!
Have a great weekend.
Chuck
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I truly enjoyed the depth and rawness of emotions that you exhibited through this post. I’m sorry you had to go through this bitter experience though.
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Thank you so much. It’s okay, it was very hard at the time. I grew from that experience as a person though, there’s a lesson to be learnt in all things if you allow it.
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Yes in the journey of life we pain & pleasure both embrace us. It’s about how we perceive them, I myself had a horrid love life to say the least but the way I see it is that if we don’t get our hearts broken then we probably won’t come across that special someone who is willing to mend our broken hearts with their unconditional love. So don’t ever be sad or lose hope. Write with a smile & may you continue to touch the lives other readers with your words, the way you have touched mine 🙂
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As much as broken hearts are hard to heal and even harder to give freely to another person again. I love harder and more deeply each time because I truly appreciate every aspect that love brings to my life and how it grows me as an individual.
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As the saying goes a life without love is like a tree without fruit & bloom, wish you the best of luck as you search for love may you eternally enjoy & celebrate this mystic emotion 🙂
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Thank you so much. And I love the way you put that. Always a great way to think of love!
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Some very well thought out and well written questions are begged in this poem. It was quite a bit longer than a normal poem but that’s understandable granted all the feelings you explained you were trying to express with this. I like your modern day poems more, but this was still great and I bet it was an interesting thing for you to look into who you were 10 years ago.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my post! I really appreciate it. I came across this poem and was like wow, it seems like forever ago but I still remember the emotions of it all like yesterday. It’s nice to look back and see how I’ve grown as a person and a writer.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet and commented:
Please come read Holly’s “Undeniable”! Be sure you bring a bushel basket to pick up all the wonderful “Seeds of Inspiration” that Holly has left in this piece!
Check out her blog and feel free to share this with your followers.
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Thank you so much for the kind words and the reblog. This definitely made my day. 😀
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You are so welcome! Always like to help make someone’s day!
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Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Thank you so much for the reblog!
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