Undeniable #Poetry

A quick back story on this poem:

I wrote this poem about 10 years ago. It is pertaining to my Ex-Fiance at the time and our relationship/my doubts. I haven’t changed or re-written anything from this poem since then. Please let me know what you think, especially compared to my poetry now. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

Is this love for you real?

Are we going with what we really feel?

Or trying to hold on to something, anything we can.

Do we really feel it?

Or do we only need it.

Do we need the idea of love and someone loving us to make things easier?

Is it easier to say that you have someone waiting for you?

Me and you. You and me. Us.

Just an idea that we pushed around in our heads.

Did we make believe it was real?

To show others what we “have” and what they want.

But do they want falsehood?

Are we being true to ourselves, each other and the feelings within?

Did we just make up what we both longed for just to have it so readily?

Do you try to convince yourself this is real?

Am I doing that every day?

By talking about you, how I feel and what you mean to me.

Do I say these things over and over again to convince myself that they’re true.

Is it if you say it enough you’ll eventually believe it? Is that what love is?

Is that what this is?

A rebound for you.

A need for me.

A want from you.

I lust of feelings for me.

Do I even know what I’m meaning?

These words I write so swiftly.

Pouring from my mind onto this page not knowing what I’m looking for maybe it’s what’s within me.

Maybe it’s doubt casting its ugly head.

Maybe it’s wanting it to fail due to being afraid of the commitment.

Do I really make you happy?

Or do you just tell yourself that so it’s easier to make it through the day.

So, you can forget about her and the other guy she’s with.

Do you think of her in the ways you say you think of me?

Could you really?

Do I measure up to her and what she was too you or am I just the settle you told yourself you’d never do?

Am I everything to you?

Are you everything to me?

Do “we” really exist in all this?

Is this our hearts and our brains being young, dumb, looking for that feeling so hard that we just happened to find it in each other?

Hoping, longing that it’s real so we manifested it in each other.

Does your heart cry for me?

Long for me?

Or are you just playing the game?

Somewhere inside you are hoping it will become real.

I will become her.

You will become him.

We will become them, we, us.

Does the drive for the idea of love make love so?

Does your brain and your heart make it so if you force it too?

Does our subconscious hold the truth, the real truth?

If so will we ever reach it or will we lock it away deep inside and hope it never rears its ugly face?

Did we talk and talk and talk to hope we’d find something in one another to spark anything inside us?

The fire we always heard about and wanted so badly.

The fire and passion one could only see in the movies.

Are we searching for that happy ending in each other because we know it really doesn’t exist?

Have we fooled everyone?

Have we fooled ourselves?

Is it okay to be your own worst enemy?

To destroy yourself and everything you built up that you thought was true, wanted to be true, longed for it to be true.

Can you really beat yourself at your own game?

It is the game of the heart that will cause your downfall in the end.

Are you ready for it?

Can you hold on?

Can you make everything you say real?

Can you feel it with all your being?

Or will you just fall endless?

The game of the heart and soul will destroy you in the end.

There could be happy endings but maybe if you only pretend.

To pretend you become the act, the show everyone tunes in for.

How long can you keep up this charade?

If you’re only longing for more.

Is it me that can give it to you?

Can you give it to me?

Are you my everything or my nothing?

Are you like these words that spew out of my thoughts are you just what I made you to be?

The perfect man.

The perfect girl.

Should I set you free?

Or hold on to this reality?

Pull your strings as you pull mine.

Who’s in charge, who will cross the line?

Hold you tight?

Live a lie?

Die alone?

Trust myself?

Trust your words?

Believe my feelings?

Cast them aside?

Feel your feelings or only try?

 Believe in myself like I believe in you.

I am I just a lie?

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Gaze #Poetry

A ragged face stared at her

The dull blue eyes glaring at her in judgement

Digging deep into her being

Finally resting the harsh gaze on her soul

Chills involuntarily quaked through her body

Making her body quiver

The wrinkled face mimicked her moments

Causing her heart to beat faster

With a trembling hand, she slowly moved towards the furrowed brow

She gasped in shock when her fingers met this sagging cheek

The surface was unnaturally cold

And confusingly smooth

She slowly ran her fingers down the flat surface and off the edge

She gasped when the reality hit

This wasn’t a stranger

This was her image she was viewing

She let out a wail

Tears began to stream down her face

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via Daily Prompt: Glaring

My Insight Into Game Of Thrones S7E4

WARNING

The below post will contain spoilers of Season 7 Episode 3 of Game of Thrones. If you have not seen the episode yet and do not want spoilers please DO NOT read on. For everyone else, let’s begin.

Quiet in the realm GOT

            Let me start out by saying when I see the four words flash across my screen on Sunday nights I get giddy and don’t pay attention to any social media. Those four lovely words are, “Quiet In The Realm.”

Now just a quick overview of what I will be doing on posts like this. I will not be recapping a full episodes of Game of Thrones (GOT). I will be breaking down plotlines from time to time, going over character dynamics and just pointing out things I was thinking as I watched the show.

 

SpoilsofWar

Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 4

Arya made it to Winterfell!!! Okay, I’m done fan girling, I thought she was going  to King’s Landing after meeting face to face with her direwolf, Nymeria. Instead she went and joined her “pack” in Winterfell. She was met with some oafish guards, that even though they didn’t look alike reminded me of Tweedledum and Tweedledee from Disney’s, Alice in Wonderland.  Arya being the badass she is, convinces these two Winterfell guards to let her onto the grounds and once their backs are turned, she slips away.

When Sansa is alerted to her sister’s presence, she quickly deduces where she will be: the tomb of their father, Ned Stark. This is the moment where Arya points out that their statue looks nothing like her father and Sansa comments that those who knew how he looked are all dead. Arya then counters with that they are still alive. It’s a touching moment between two sisters who haven’t seen each other in years.

Try as I might, I can’t completely figure out Littlefinger and his strategies. He approaches Bran Stark and hands him the knife that was meant to kill him. Bran, being completely different since he became the Three Eyed Raven, is blank-faced during this whole exchange. He later gives Arya the Valyrian steel dagger which she quickly adds as a sidekick to her trusty sword, Needle. An interesting comment is made here, how the person who wanted him dead must have had money because of the Valyrian dagger that was wielded by the would-be assassin.

The best part in Winterfell came between Arya and Brienne. Arya tells Brienne that it has been a while since she was able to train and that she wanted her as a training partner. Their training session was great, and everyone got a peek into Arya’s skill set as she upset Brienne, including Sansa and LittleFinger. Is anyone else just wanting Arya to stab Littlefinger in the eye with Needle, or is that just me?

Now, let’s shift over to Dragonstone to Jon showing Khaleesi the dragonglass whole in the mine before his break it all to pieces. Of course, this is not the only reason he asked Khaleesi here, he also wanted to show her the drawings on the rock walls. These etchings were from the Children of the Forest, the childlike people that looked after Bran and the Three Eye Raven. It showed how the First Men and the Children of the Forest united against the White Walkers and Jon made sure that Khaleesi sees this. She says she will join in his fight, but only if he bends the knee to her. He knows the lords of the North would never go for that idea, but he needs to the aid of Khaleesi’s dragons. This is a crossroads that Jon will have to decide very soon.

This moment quickly fades when Khaleesi is met with news that the Tyrell army was defeated by the Lannsiter army. Which also means that she now has no local allies left since the Greyjoys were also defeated. Cersei has Ellaria, which cuts off Dorne. With Lady Olenna dead, House Tyrell is no longer a player. Which means Cersei is now winning this power struggle and no one wants that. In her frustration of this news, Khaleesi accuses Tyrion of not being completely loyal to her – which cuts him deeply and is not the case.

She then decides to go off to High Garden herself, riding one of her Dragons with the Dothraki Horde following her. We finally get to see a dragon in action! As dragon fire is rained down on the Lannister army. Anyone the dragon misses, the Dothraki are taking care of. In this grueling scene you see Jamie Lannister watch his army get totally slaughtered. Definitely not the image anyone would have thought after their conquest of House Tyrell.

However, not all is lost for the Lannister’s in this battle. Their new weapon, the Scorpion, for fighting the dragons was put to the test and hit its target, wounding one of Khaleesi’s dragons. Luckily the dragon managed to destroy the weapon before it could be fired again. It had to land so Khaleesi could try to remove the massive arrow from its wing.

Jamie was on horseback nearby and watched in horror as his recent victory quickly turned to defeat. He saw Khaleesi with her back turned and saw his chance to end her rebellion against the throne and save Cersei’s life. He must have assumed at this point that he was going to die, but would not go down without a fight. Jamie rode his horse straight toward Khaleesi hoping to take her to the grave with him. When he was almost on top of her, the dragon stuck its head out in defense of her and shot a fireball at Jamie. Just when you thought he was fried someone, I’m assuming Bronn here, tackled Jamie off his horse and into the watery depths. The episode ends with him sinking towards the sea floor, I do not believe however that this will be Jamie’s demise. We will see him again.

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(How I saw Jamie Lannsiter when the Dragon was destroying his army.)

Before this battle, Lord Tarly says “All the gold is safely through the gates at Kings Landing.” So Daenerys didn’t rob Cersei of all the money. Cersei has it. What they did do is decimate the Lannister army and, it appears, destroy all the food they stole from the Tyrells. Which scares me in the long run, because winter has come and people are going to starve. If they destroyed all the grain, that might come back to bite both Cersei and Daenerys in the ass later.

All of this will hit Cersei hard, because she just lost the bulk of her army, her brother Jamie, and the provisions to last through the winter. Oh sure, she has the gold to pay off the Iron Bank, but will she use it for that now? Or will she take the gold and invest in more troops? At this moment Lady Olenna’s words echoed in my mind, “You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.” Khaleesi finally decided to embrace that part of herself and it won her the battle, but definitely not the war.

Radiance #Poetry

There was a shimmer to her

A soft accent of light that filled up a room when she stepped in

This wasn’t here intention

To draw the eyes of a crowd

But her sweet warmth and fetching smile made this impossible

There’s worldly beauty

Then there’s beauty that is filled with kindness

She had concern for the world in her eyes

And a love for humanity in her heart

A rare jewel in this world

The sun reflecting her intentions to the world

And my, were they alluring

via Daily Prompt: Shimmer